Title I can't think of a name for

Life has been lifey. That's all I have to say. It has it's ups, and it's downs, sometimes unbalanced, but it's life. Owl City is pretty much one of my favorite artists/groups. Owl City can always make me happy when I'm in a bad mood. So, I don't really know what I'm saying. So, I think I should stop now before I bore you to death :)

Songs

So, I'm in the mood to type songs I've written up here, so a couple things:

1)I'm not sure if some of them are finished

2) I'm going to number them so it makes it easer for you to tell me what you think

3) I know I'm not very good, but, I want your insight


1)Who You Are

What you do
Is who you are
If you stay strong
You will go far

Life is tough
It's a truth indeed
If it gets rough
Just lean on me

You know who you are
You must stay true
Jump o'r the bar
And stay you!

What you do
Is who you are
If you stay strong
You will go far

To make it out
Of this crazy game
Be you and shout
Stay true to your name

Smile and laugh
For you are loved
These times will pass
You've got to stand up

What you do
Is who you are
If you stay strong
You will go far

Life is short
Do what you will
Make your choice
And live your life!


2)I wanna give up

Life is too much
I just wanna give up

I walk through each day
Never knowing what to say
I don't know where to go
I don't know what I know

Live is too much
I just wanna give up

Life is one big ugly beast
Showing me its ugly teeth
Bearing them with evil might
I don't know what to fight

Life is to much
I just wanna give up

I want to give in
Fall on the next bend
I don't know what's happening
I can't make sense of anything

Life is looking me
Right in the eye
Giving me
A way to die

My sword is gone
I've given up
I've set alight the
deadly bomb

Life is too much
I just wanna give up

I've walked forward one last step
My hear is done
it can't forget
All the pain it's felt

Life is too much
I just want to give up


3)Map to your heart

I always want to talk to you
But every time I do
I always start to drown in your eyes
Your lovely eyes

Give me a map
Cause I am lost
I need a map
A map to your heart

I walk along each day
And my heart skips a beat
Every time I see
Ever time I see your face

Give me a map
Cause I am lost
I need a map
A map to your heart

I want you to know
The way my heart feels
Every time I hear your voice
Every time I see your face

I need a map
A GPS
I am lost
In your eyes

Give me a map
Cause I am lost
I need a map to your
I need a map
or I will die
I need a map
to
Your
heart


4)Insanity


I need to break free
From this insanity
The end is near
But it's too far to see

I'm rushing forward
I'm sprinting
I'm pushing myself
I gotta get out
Of this mad house
I don't belong in here
I gotta get out
of this jail cell
I don't wan't to be here

Ooh! I need to break free
From this insanity
The end is near
But it's too far to see

Every night
On the first star
I make a wish
Deep in my heart
I wish for wings
So I could fly
Away from here
And be by your side

Walls are coming
Closing in
I'm claustrophobic
Gettin' crowded in
I want to get away from here
I want to fly away from here
I want my freedom
I want my life
I want to be with you, tonight


5)Concrete Wall

I wonder why the sky is blue
or why the stars twinkle and shine
But I sit and think of you
and how I wish your love was mine

But I've built a wall
Around my heart
Hiding it from the world
I've built a concrete wall

I wish for things that cannot be
I hope for things that aren't
Darling, I love you so
But you just don't know
Where you are in my heart

But I've built a wall
Around my heart
Hiding it from the world
I've built a concrete wall

You do not know my feelings
You do not know my thoughts
To you, we are only friends
To me, you are only amazing

You are beautiful
inside and out
You have the spirit of an angel
here on Earth

But I've built a wall
Around my heart
Hiding it from the world
I've built a concrete wall

You don't know how I feel
I know you don't care
You are my light and hope
But, I am scared

But I've built a wall
Around my heart
Hiding it from the world
I've built a concrete wall

I say nothing for I am scared of pain
If you ask
I wan't say your name
I'll think it to myself
and shrug my shoulders
Hiding myself behind
A concrete wall

But I've built a wall
Around my heart
Hiding it from the world
I've built a concrete wall


6) Down and lost

Life has got me down
And it won't let me back up
I'm stuck with this frown
I'm stuck in the much

I'm down and lost
In the shadow
I've lost my way
I'm lost in a cave

I wander around
This misery
I drag my feet
And look without eyes

I'm down and lost
in the shadows
I've lost my way
I'm lost in the cave

I'm lost and alone
I am scared of life
I am chilled to the bone
Life is full of strife

I'm lost from all
And I can't be found
I am abandoned
And I haven't a home

I'm down and lost
In the shadow
I've lost my way
I'm lost in a cave

No one is here for me
No one wants to stand by me
Who would want to help a fallen man
Who would want to risk my pain

I'm down and lost
In the shadow
I'm lost in the cave
I'm down in the dark
I'm down and lost from all
I'm down and lost from light
I'm down and lost


7)Lost hope


I used to walk in sunlight
I used to be happy
But now I'm in shadow
And I've lost all hope

I've lost hope
I can't go on
I can't escape from this darkness
I've given up

Shadows swirl around my feet
Grabbing my ankles, slowing me down
They don't let me go
They don't let go

I've lost hope
I'm giving up
I'm in the shadows
I've had enough

Light can't reach this darkness
I fell to the bottomless pit
I'm stuck in the mud
And can't get up
Hope is gone, I've given up

I've lost hope
I can't go on
I've given up
I've given my all
But it's not enough

Life is through
There's no one left
Life is over
I've given up


8)Shadows

Shadows loom
Leaning in
Waiting for the final boom
And kill my kin

I'm all alone
The darkness has stolen
All that mean something to me
I won't stop
I will fight
To make it to the light

I have a flame
I have a sword
I can not go the way I came
I will fight, you have my word
I'm on my way
To the light

I'm all alone
The darkness has stolen
All that meant something to me
But I wont' stop
I will fight
To make it to the light

I've stumbled on my way
Sometimes I've fallen
But I can make it
I'm not alone
My sword is sharp
I will kill
The shadows
I will return to the light
I'm done with shadows


9)Wake up

I've got to wake up
And raise my head
Escape the slumber
Leave the dead

Life is a fog
I can't see the path
I've got to get a light
But I need a match

I've got to wake up
and raise my head
Escape my slumber
And leave my dead

I've waded through life
Never really trying
No more can I
Ride the stream

'Cause I've got to wake up
and raise my head
Escape the slumber
Of the dead

My journey has gone
Up a mountain side
I've looked down on the road

I've made my choices
I've chosen to change
i'm gonna change
I've gotta change

I have to wake up
Or I join the dead
I have to leave my slumber
I raise my head


9)Shaded Mind


I've lived my life
in the shadow
Away from people
I've hide my face
In the shadow
Away from people

But I'm done!
I'm done hiding
I'm done running
I'm going to stand
With my sword in hand
I will fight for you
I will fight for you
I will fight for you

You lead me out
Of the shadows
Into people
You took my life
From the shadows
Into people

Now I'm done
I'm done hiding
I'm done running
I'm going to stand
With my sword in my hand
I will fight for you
Because you fought for me
I will fight for you

You took my life
Into sunshine
With people
You've changed my mind
Into joy
Into freedom

I will not go back
I'm not hiding
I'm not running
I will stand
With my sword in hand
I will fight for you
I will fight for you
Because I love you

You've changed my life
for the better
For the best
You've helped me change
Into a man
Into your hero
Because that's what
I want to be
Be you hero
Because I love you


As I said their not very good, but comments on them would be cool

Release of pent up feelings and such

I've been thinking the past few days... and I have figured out my deepest desire I had as a kid... and before that I had figured out my deepest fear.

As a kid I always enjoyed the middle ages stuff. It was my passion. I would play pretend with my siblings, and we would:
a) Play a 'school' of sorts, were we learned fighting stuff
b) Be deserted on an island and make a 'camp' and fight natives

There was more, those are just the two I can bring to mind. But, I've always wanted to be a knight. I've always wanted to be on top of a horse in armor, with a sword in one hand, and my shield with my family crest on the other. I think this might be why I've always preferred the books/movies with this stuff. I don't want to be a knight to kill people... that's not why. I don't really know why, I just always wanted to. I wanted to be the one to slay the dragon and save the princess per say. I wanted the excitement and adventure. I would serve my king loyally, not seeking power, and I would kill when the need arose, but I would not enjoy it. Chances are though, if I lived in that time, it's more thank likely I would have just been a peasant, or a serf, and worked my days on a farm. But, nonetheless, I don't know... I've just wanted to be a knight, at Arthur's court, serving the Pendragon king.

My deepest fear... I think it's a deepest fear of many people, I would be surprised if it wasn't. But, when I found for myself, I was surprised at how much this means to me...

My deepest fear is to be alone, unloved, and forgotten. I'm not sure why, but I think as humans we are scared of being alone. We need to around other people to feel safe and secure. Yeah, there are a few anomalies, but there always is. My deepest fear is pretty ironic, don't you think? Considering my personality

Last night was pretty depressing... I had sad scary thoughts in my last few waking moments. The first one is a possible reality that I have. As soon as I'm old enough I move out, far away, and get a minimum wage job, no friends, no one, all alone... I don't know

The second one was more of something I felt that I needed to do. I felt like I needed to be on horse, away -for a time- from people. And if not a horse, my bike

Haha... I'm kinda sad aren't I?

Oh well, I don't care if you've read this far, but, I feel better for getting these things out. :)

Remember, life is fleeting. Never do something you might regret, because you might never get to fix it. Remember to tell the people that are important to you that they are, and that you love them. You don't know what your last words may be, and you don't want to part forever on bad terms.

That said, to all my wonderful friends out there, thank you so much for everything you have done for me. I love you guys