I have been converted

About the title... yeah... I've been converted. Long story, and I have time to tell it. So... sit back relax (or not) and listen (well, read is more correct, but you get the picture (idea being more correct here, but, still, it works))


So, to start off with a little information. I play three instruments, piano, guitar (<3 <3 my favorite instrument ever! :) ), and Tenor Sax. As most of you know, I started tenor sax this summer (meaning 2010) and I taught myself how to play. Okay, know that you know that, on to the story. So, today was the marching band social, and that was fun (as was expected) and near the end, there was an awards thing (the section leaders (leaders of that group of instruments for you ignorant people) made up awards specific to that person and handed them out). My award was "Converted to Bandism" (yes, band is a religion know, in a sense, so ha! *blows raspberry here*) Due to the fact that I had pretty much nothing to do with band before summer marching band. And it's because of Geoff, so, yeah. Thats the story, now wasn't that exciting? haha, just kidding. But still, that's the story.

Friends :)

These past couple days (as I've been feeling down) I've came to realize I have amazing friends. I am so grateful for their friendship and what they have done for me. I don't think I deserve such awesome friends, but, I'm not upset that I have them.

I love you guys <3 :)

Love,
Garrett :)

Ugggh--- Life :/

My mind... what an... interesting (?) place. It seems to enjoy spinning in circles and becoming dizzy. Giving me a weird sensation. Right now, I kinda wanna hate life for no reason, and I kinda I really hate my emotions right now. They are frekin bothering me! I can't make a dime of sense from them...

Life is too much, I just wanna give up. I walk through each day, not knowing how to act or what to say. I feel so strange and half depressed when will I see through this mess? Life is just a big ugly beast, showing me its ugly teeth. Bearing them with evil might, what to I stand for, who do I fight? I just want to give in, fall on the next bend. I don't know what's happening I just don't understand anything. Life is looking me right in the eye, showing a path, a path to fly. My sword is gone, I've given up. I've lost my light, I can't keep up this fight. I've walked forward my last step. My heart is done, it can't forget. All the pain and lies it's heard, and I never said a word. I see no way for this to end, I don't know who is my true friend. Now I've left all behind, to seal the door, the door of time.

That describes kinda how I feel right now :( (I wrote basically that in AP Euro, changing in a little) Life just feels suckish right now, and my confusion doesn't help.

Life

Life.... what to say. Life has been... life (for lack of a better word, I leave you up to infer what it means) Right now... I kinda really have no life, because marching band is over :P I miss band... I made lots of friends, and I had fun. Imma thinking of dropping Spanish 3 to take concert band next semester... maybe, if my mom will let me (probably not :( )

All I've really been doing lately is picking my brother up from school, and then playing Wii with him (cause he wants me too.) ((This is my little 5 year old brother, who goes to the daycare)). I've noticed a few things about myself lately:

1) My temper's fuse seems a lot shorter now that I have nothing to do
2) Playing guitar makes me feel better when I'm angry
3) My emotions are whacked up and I can't tell left from left with them
4) My sister bugs the crap out of me (nearly literally) She just whines and complains all the time, and cries when she doesn't get her way. And she's 14. My sister and I were supposed to alternate weeks when picking him up (so I could have time to myself) but, she was a baby about that, so, my mom said until she is ready and willing to pick him up, I am, but, I don't have to do dishes days I pick him up, and until she's says shes ready and willing, she has to do dishes. (This is a big thing in my house, cause lately, my parents really haven't been doing dishes, just my brother and sister and me.) So, I'm happy about that, and I don't mind picking Travon up, but, I just need some a lone time. Know what I mean?

Rant- don't have to read

Here's just going to a rant... so, yeah, you don't have to read if you don't want to.













Why do I really have no talent? I'm okay at music stuff, can't sing, not good at any sports... the only stuff I'm good at are stuff that don't really matter. Who cares if your in an advanced math class? Who cares if you can read fast? Who cares if you get a six on an essay? Nobody, because it doesn't matter.
Why do I just really suck at talking? I can never keep a conversation going because I don't know what to say because I just ultimately fail at talking. That's bad. Why do I just fail at it? Why am I so anti-social and just don't talk to people because I don't know what to say? Is it because I don't like talking about myself or my achievements because I don't want to be passed off as 'proud'? Is it because I don't know how because I've I'm scared of people because I'm so shy and now I don't know how to talk to people. Is it because I have nothing good to say? Is it because I have a brain disorder that inhibits my talking abilities?
Life is kinda crappy. I'm not happy with choices I've made, and some I am happy with. We keep getting jipped at competitions because judges are stupid little things that don't know something good when it hits them in the face. Why can't we burn syrup-y hills?

Life is full of why's and questions with no answers.







As you can tell I'm in a pessimistic kinda mood right now.